It was 14 degrees Monday morning in Nashville. Before heading outside to warm up my car I put on my big winter coat which I had not worn since last year. As I finished getting ready to go to work I was talking with Morgan and remembered when I got this coat.
It was a winter day three years ago and I was looking for an excuse to hangout with her. I convinced her to meet me at the Mall at Green Hills to help me pick out a coat. I did need one and needed some help picking it out, but I really wanted to hangout with her. I thought about the day I bought it and I remembered every single aspect of what occurred. I remember the feeling I got when I got off the escalator and saw her. I remember where we went and ate later in the day. All of it. I’m not sentimental about the coat. It’s the moment I remember and treasure more than anything. A few years later life is so different yet in many ways similar.
We joked about how different things would be now if I needed a jacket. She would go alone because I’m about as bad as a 4 year old in a department store. I get bored after about five minutes and want to to go the food court. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. The only reason I wanted to go to the mall when I was younger was so I could go to FYE and look at $20 CD’s.
We finished watching Master of None on Netflix last week. I think Aziz Ansari is hilarious and loved the show. However, the cynical and worldly view on marriage he has is quite wrong. From seeing the storyline which played out and reading his book I understand the point he’s making. The passion you feel for someone, no matter how strong it might be, will fade. I don’t think it fades rather it becomes different. When I think about the day Morgan and I were shopping for a coat, I don’t wish things were like they were then. I don’t long for the newness which comes with a fresh relationship. There is something to be said for knowing someone on a deeper level. When people say, “they love someone more and more every day” I always thought it was silly and pre-meditated. I completely understand it now. We haven’t even celebrated our 2nd anniversary yet but I get it.
The problem many millennials have is they want to find complete satisfaction in someone else. We have a distorted view of what a soulmate should provide. We expect a relationship to fulfill every piece which is missing. It will never happen. The sudden rush you get when a new relationship begins falsely fulfills you. Over time things level out and if you are looking for the person to give you something they can’t, you will be disappointed.
Michael Easley says, “don’t let the world teach you theology.” It’s easy to let this happen if you are not careful. It’s easy to let the world teach you everything if you allow it to happen. I enjoy watching series like Master of None but I’m careful not to take any lessons from it. It’s easy to let yourself slip into distorted thinking if you aren’t careful. You don’t have to have a doctorate or be brilliant to decide this. You can lean on your personal experiences. You can lean on an experience like going shopping for a coat.