Maybe Next Winter

Winter is almost over.

photo credit: Dustin Iskandar via creative commons

photo credit: Dustin Iskandar via creative commons

I have the feeling you get after a long run when you can see your stopping point but it’s far enough away you have to keep churning your legs.

The past few winter’s I have told myself I will not let the weather get me down. I start off well but somewhere in January or February while scraping the ice off my windshield I have had enough. I hate the cold and what it does to me. It sucks the optimism from me like a vacuum getting loose change between the seats of a car.

One bright spot is there are certain foods I like more when it is cold outside. Some days we let soup cook in the crock pot all day while we are at work. When I walk in at the end of the day the smell is permeating through the entire house. For a moment I forget the cold and taste the food in my nostrils. I love the warmth chicken tortilla soup provides. I put shredded cheese and Crystal hot sauce on it and the concoction is something Jimmy Buffett should write a song about. The soup warms me up to my core. I don’t crave chicken tortilla soup when it is warm outside.

I feel we all have Seasonal Affective Disorder to some degree. I don’t want to diminish those who have it severely because I know it is a very real thing but all of us struggle with it right?

Seeing a dead tree come to life reminds me things do change. I’m so tired of looking at dead things. I’m ready to see green. There is something wonderful about a tree coming back to life. I don’t sit on my deck and watch the leaves turn or find beauty in it by reflecting. I pass by and don’t notice it for days or weeks. Then suddenly there are green leaves everywhere. It jumps up and catches me by surprise. I’m so thankful warmer weather is here but I know in a few months I will take it for granted. One of my biggest strengths is taking things for granted. I usually hold this back during a job interview.

I’m happy winter is almost finished but I’m not thrilled with the way I handled it. Once again I allowed myself to be manipulated by the season.

This post from Addie Zierman about a recent car accident she experienced this winter reminded me others struggle with this same thing.

The whole accident is essentially a microcosm of the book I’ve just written: You are knocked out of control by some winter; you find yourself crashing into the artificial lights that you’ve erected to keep yourself out the dark.”

That’s what winter is isn’t it? Maybe next winter I will remember it’s only weather. And it’s the cold weather which allows me to enjoy the taste of chicken tortilla soup.