Some days I feel as though I’m falling down rapidly. It’s like I’m skydiving and everything is moving so fast I can’t process it. Months go by as quick as days should and while I have all the right intentions I can’t seem to stay ahead.
One of my biggest fears is waking up in 10 years and wondering what happened during the last decade. I’m scared I will be stuck in neutral. Although this is one of my greatest fears I tend to long for this feeling when I’m stressed out. I’m not talking about frustrating day at work stressed out. I’m talking about anxiety taking you over so much you can’t eat stressed out. When I feel it I long for the mundane days of dreaming and hoping for a better future.
I seemingly feel like I have dealt with this my whole life. There were two phases my brain functioned in and the first was waiting. I would wait for the next issue or problem to come up because I knew each day that passed without a problem just brought me closer to a day with a problem. The second phase was when I was stressed out. Those days where crawling out of bed in the morning takes a herculean effort.
I still struggle with living in these phases but I have gotten so much better. After a particularly stressful day at work a few weeks back I walked out of the office feeling rather defeated. I don’t normally notice even the most beautiful sunsets but I noticed it that day. I took the picture above and it may not be the most picturesque sunset you have ever seen but it was to me. It made me strop right where I was at and it hit me right then and there that no matter where I fall short at, no matter how badly I screw up, God loves me.
When I get stressed out I remind myself of the peace only God can bring us. It’s interesting, peace doesn’t come over you like stress does. Stress can be nonexistent one minute then all consuming the next. Peace is like a slow walk towards the ocean from the beach. We feel better the closer we get to the water but once we take the first step in we realize this is where we are supposed to be. As we take a few more steps in we realize the cold water does something to us. It makes us feel more alive than we ever thought possible. Each wave hits us like God’s grace and we are submerged only to see a whole new world under water. Pictures and videos cannot do justice to the beauty of the ocean floor.
If you’re stressed out you probably are thinking all of this sounds nice but you don’t understand what I’m dealing with or what I’m attempting to go through. I don’t. However, God does and he loves you and cares about you more than you could ever know. He understands exactly what you are dealing with and he can give you peace. You don’t have to be a worrier. You need to submit your thoughts to God. Giving it up to God isn’t easy but as Philippians 4:7 says, the peace of God surpasses our understanding. You don’t have to be a worrier. You simply need to let God give you peace.