It has taken me a while to realize it truly is OK to not be OK. No matter what you are dealing with most of the time the part which hurts the most is not the issue itself but the loneliness of the situation.
I have dealt with anxiety my whole life. Sometimes it has been worse than others but the hardest part was I never felt like I could talk to anyone about it. It is not so much I did not believe I could speak with close friends and family about it, but rather I did not believe they would understand how I felt.
You tend to tell yourself nobody else thinks this way and you will never be able to live normally. Isolation is a horrible byproduct of anxiety. You feel trapped in your thoughts and fears. Even with close friends you feel detached during conversations and emotionally and physically exhausted at the end of the day.
I was recently watching an interview with Shauna Niequiest and she was talking about her struggles with getting pregnant. After having her first child she struggled getting pregnant a second time and even experienced a few miscarriages.
She talked about how tough it was to deal with the issue and also about how alone she felt. Hearing her speak so emotionally about this made me realize we all deal with issues and most of us are afraid to speak about them. It’s not so much we are scared to be judged but we are afraid nobody will be able to relate to us.
I am far from an expert on human behavior. My knowledge of psychology extends as far as making a B in Psychology 110 my freshman year of college. What I do know, is finding out you are not alone will help you with whatever you are dealing with.
Even if your close friend or family member can’t relate to what you are dealing with they will be there for you and there is so much peace which can be found. We all want to portray a certain picture of ourselves to everyone and most of the time the picture is not based in reality. It is what we wished we were.
It is not easy to write about this, but my hope is others who deal with this issue will realize they are not alone and there are so many ways to get better. Life does not have to be this way.
It’s Ok to not be Ok.