It is extremely tempting to live with regret. Regret can range from something major to something very minor. One of the smaller regrets that I have is not attempting to try out for the basketball team my junior year of high school. Thinking back to that time I’m unsure of why I did not try out. I realize now how short sighted it was and at seventeen I did not think it would bother me later in life. . I also have big regrets in life. Now it is not a revelation that it is not good to dwell on your regrets, but I have learned that it is much better to focus not only on good decisions that I have made but times where I originally made a poor decision and then corrected it.
There is one big decision in my life that I do not regret and that would be asking my future wife for a second chance. Like most people I made a lot of mistakes in dating. She and I can joke about it now but I definitely screwed things up the first time we dated. That seems like a thousand years ago now as we are deeply in love and prepare to get married soon but it is something that happened that can’t be erased. We were having coffee with some friends this past weekend and the topic of how long we dated came up which always initiates an interesting response since our history is so detailed. It does not bother me that this is the case because it is our story. Admitting that I was wrong was really hard but now I get to marry my best friend so the payoff is impossible to put into words.
The great thing about love is that it is not a game. Nobody is keeping score of what shortcomings someone has or how the other has disappointed in the past. Morgan and I love each other in spite of whatever has happened or will happen. I know that there will be times that I disappoint Morgan and she knows there will be times when she will disappoint me. When that is understood there is a level of intimacy and trust that is experienced that is truly incredible.
Now I am neither a relationship expert nor a marriage expert but from what I have experienced I know that this is true. I look forward to the future with Morgan because I know that no matter what obstacles we face we are both going to be there for each other. Although our love is great, what we have is nowhere near the level of God’s love for us, which is perfect. It is hard to wrap my head around the grace and love the He gives to all of us no matter what we do. We don’t have to live with small or large regrets. We do not have to live with shame. All because he loves us and there is nothing that we can ever do to change that. I love the line in the David Crowder Band song that says, “I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.” I’m trying to let that line marinate in my mind because it perfectly describes God’s love.
No matter what we do, good or bad, He loves us. Do not focus on your regrets. Focus on His love.